What To Do When Your Senior Parent Refuses Assisted Living Care

There are many reasons why your parent is resistant to assisted living care. Oftentimes they feel like they can still live independently, despite having a condition that makes living at home unsafe. Those with osteoporosis, diabetes, dementia or seniors who need help keeping up with their medication and are at a greater risk.

Getting an unwilling parent to agree to move to assisted living may hinge upon how well you can relate to them and address their worries and concerns.

We know that seniors are usually healthier and happier when they are in a senior living community, so we’ve outlined 6 strategies you can use to convince your parent to move to assisted living.

6 Things to Do When Your Parent (or Spouse) Refuses To Move

1. Empathize to Eliminate Their Fear

Getting older is frightening. Aging can cause anxiety and frustration.

Imagine living your whole life independently, and then having difficulty doing the things you once enjoyed, not to mention everyday tasks.

It’s easy to understand why your parents may be anxious— they may even be afraid that they will be forgotten when they are in assisted living.

Reassure them that they will have an active and enjoyable life at West Bladen, where they will make fantastic friends, enjoy a variety of activities, and finally be free from the hassles and headaches of home ownership.

2. Eliminate the Unknowns: Let Them Tour the Assisted Living Community

Many parents have the wrong idea of what senior living apartments or assisted living communities are like. Most commonly it is confused with a nursing home. But assisted living is vastly different from a skilled nursing facility.

Taking an in-person or virtual tour gives them an opportunity to ask questions, meet the staff and learn why others have chosen to move to assisted living. Seeing the amenities and advantages—such as planned outings and delicious home-prepared meals—can transform their attitude, putting their minds at ease.

3. Be Patient and Treat Them With Respect

You didn’t like it when they nagged you, and they won’t like it if you badger them constantly. If they feel you are not treating them respectfully, they may actually become more resistant to the idea of assisted living.

Change takes time. Provide them with the information they need to make a decision and give them a chance to consider it. Realize it may take a while before they fully recognize the daily advantages of an assisted living community.

When parents age, your roles seem to “switch.” Now you are the one caring for them, and they may not realize you have their best interests at heart.

But in the end, they are still your parents.

They likely expect a certain amount of respect.

If you treat them like children, they could be even more resistant to consider assisted living care.

The worst thing you can do is to use it as a threat. Don’t give them an ultimatum.

You’ll find mutual respect will go a long way toward making your case.

4. Discuss How Moving to Assisted Living May Help Fight Depression

Depression is more common among the elderly than many people think. A loss of independence, limited mobility and the anxiety of aging can be contributing factors to the condition.

Discuss with your parent why they may be experiencing depression and how the social aspects of assisted living, coupled with an on-site health care team, can help lift their mood.

5. Ask Them to Do It for the Caregiver or Family

Sometimes, if parents won’t go to assisted living for themselves, they’ll go for other people.

Tell them that you’re not the only one who is worried about them. Emphasize that other family members, including children and grandchildren, have expressed concerns. Let them know how assisted living will help put the family at ease.

6. Get the Opinion of a Professional

In some cases, parents will listen to a doctor or health care professional before they listen to you. Use this to your advantage.

Let their doctor talk about the importance of supervised care—particularly if your parents are at high risk for falls or showing early signs of dementia.

If your parent still refuses, you may wish to consider seeking legal advice.

Plan Now for Assisted Living and Alzheimer’s Care Communities

The best time to establish a plan is before it escalates into a crisis. While your parents are healthy and have complete independence, talk to them! Make sure they know about the benefits of assisted living and how it can help them, especially when it comes to parents, siblings or spouses with dementia.

Alzheimer’s Care Communities

Has your mother or father been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease or another type of dementia? If so, it’s important that your parent understands the difficult truth about how the disease may progress.

It’s important, in cases like this, to be sure that the community you chose can provide Alzheimer’s care. At West Bladen, we have a memory care unit where specially trained staff works with residents who have been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and a wide variety of other dementias.

Emphasize that assisted living isn’t about giving up all their independence; it’s about being there to provide a helping hand if needed.

West Bladen: The Most Popular Address for Assisted Living

See for yourself why our residents love living at West Bladen. Hurry—our spaces fill quickly. Contact us today to learn more about our community in Bladen County.